Promises, promises...

Why is it so hard to keep promises to ourselves? Why do we go to extremes to keep our word to our family, but not have the conviction to follow through on the vow we’ve made to ourselves? Why do we feel so badly when we break a commitment to a friend, but just blow it off when we break one we made to ourselves?

In my history of addiction, I swore off porn more times than I can count. I would promise myself over and over to quit. In a moment of resolve, I would throw out my stash only to start collecting again in a moment of weakness. I would disconnect the computer, stop calling girlfriends, and quit going to strip clubs – for about a week. Then I was back at it, completely disregarding my previous commitment. Why couldn’t I just do what I promised? What was wrong with me? What was my problem?

Here was my problem: my self-worth.

If a friend repeatedly broke their promises to you, even little ones, your opinion of them would gradually decline. Eventually, you would probably stop associating with them altogether. They would no longer be worthy of your time and effort to keep the friendship going. Do you think the result is any different when you break promises to yourself? No, it’s exactly the same. Little promises like: I’m going to get up at five a.m. I’m only going to eat three cookies. I’m not going to speed today. I’m not going to leave work early. I’m going to call my wife when I said I would. Breaking these everyday promises may seem insignificant, but they add up to disaster. Over time, you begin proving to yourself that you are unreliable and untrustworthy.

Some perspective: Let’s figure conservatively and say the average person breaks five promises to themselves a week. No big deal, right? Wrong! If you had a friend who broke five promises to you in a week, you’d tell them to take a hike! Wouldn’t you? But we do it to ourselves all the time and we just let ourselves get away with it. This is what I had been doing to myself for years. I had let myself down so many times, I no longer viewed myself as someone worthy of keeping my word to.

Let’s take dieting. You want to lose some weight. You decide on a plan. You get the gym membership. You throw out all your junk food. You set the alarm clock for an hour earlier than you normally would. You’re all set. So what happens? The alarm goes off, your flesh whines, you give in and go back to sleep. Why? Because you’ve done this all before and let yourself down every time! You can change the diet, the gym, the exercises, and the calories – but if you don’t change how you view yourself and start checking your integrity, you will always fail.

Addiction also contributes to a low self-worth. When an addiction takes hold of your life, you start to identify yourself as an addict: a pathetic, dependent, helpless receptacle that only exists to be filled with porn (or alcohol, or food, or shopping, or whatever). Combine this mindset with a lifetime of broken promises, add a little shame and isolation, and the devil has your self-worth right where he wants it – in the gutter.

So how to you raise your self-worth? You don’t. God does. Start finding out who God says you are, not the world or yourself. Read your Bible and begin finding out who you are in Him and discover the supernatural power that you, as a believer, have access to. No amount of seminars, self-help books, and motivational speakers will raise your self-worth. Resolve is not enough. Promises aren’t enough. Vows are not enough. But Jesus Christ is enough. And until you give your life over to Him and find out who He says you are, you’ll never make it. We don’t become worthy on our own – we only become worthy through Christ. We don’t become righteous on our own – we only become righteous through Christ. We don’t become sanctified on our own – we only become sanctified through Christ.

“. . . in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 8:37-39

The Two Worst (so-called) Christian Sayings

While reading a friend’s Facebook page recently, I ran across the saying “God never gives us more than we can handle”. Really? Then what do we need Him for? If God never pushes us to our limits, if He never tests us with adversity, if He never takes us to the edge of the cliff, then what reason do we ever have to reach out to Him? Think about how much pressure this ill-conceived notion puts on the believer: The Christian encounters a stressful or difficult situation. He begins to feel the strain and frustration. He begins to be afraid or even panic. Then he remembers this ever-so-helpful saying! But wait, it’s not working! “What’s wrong with me? I must not be strong enough! No, it’s not me, its God! This challenge is too tough! I thought God would never give me more than I can handle! He’s a liar!”

See? The saying implies that God created you and walked away. It implies that He gave you a certain amount of fortitude and resistance to stress, and He is now throwing you into situations and watching you squirm. It implies that you will endure and conquer all these challenges by yourself. This is completely contrary to scripture. The saying should be, “God never gives us more than we can handle with His help.” But rather, let’s just skip the saying altogether and quote scripture instead: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13, emphasis mine). Even more applicable is, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me” (2 Cor 12:9). God doesn’t give you strength so you can take the credit for your victories. He wants to be your strength so that He might be glorified through you. He wants to leave you mystified at the end of the day, shaking your head, smiling and saying, “That had to have been God…”

The other one I often run into is “Everything in moderation”. Great! I can do whatever I want as long as I only do it a little bit! Yay! Just a little bit of deceit. Just a little bit of porn. Just a little bit of theft. It’s only a white lie. It’s just Maxim magazine. It’s only a twenty from the register. “C’mon, Ben, that’s not what it means! You’re being ridiculous!” Really? Then why does it say everything in moderation? I have no idea where Christians get this from, but it’s probably the most destructive, perverse, Hell-spawed bit of twisted advice I’ve ever heard – and Christians say it all the time. And you know what? Satan loves it. You’re doing exactly what he wants. The more you compromise, the more often you give in, the less disciplined you become, the easier it is for him to gain a foothold in your life. Eventually, that foothold will become a stronghold. Ultimately, that stronghold will become a stranglehold. Pretty soon, you’ll have compromised yourself into divorce court. Pretty soon, you’ll have ‘little-bitted’ your way into prison. Pretty soon, you’ll have ‘moderated’ yourself into a full-blown addiction.

Beloved, the life we’re called to as Christians is not a moderate one. It doesn’t involve people-pleasing or fence-riding. It has no room for political correctness or mealy-mouthed, pluralistic responses to questions regarding our convictions. It is a black and white life of uncompromising absolutes where choosing grey leads only to folly and destruction. The Bible tells us in Revelation, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth” (3:15-16). A life lived in the middle means an eternity spent without God – and that’s not something I’m willing to risk.

In Him,
Ben
job31one.org

He Rewards Obedience!

On September 8, 2008 I finally published the website for job31one ministries. I had been working on it for four months and had been called to do it for almost a year. Along with my wife, I hit the “publish” button for the first time. I then composed an email to seven male Christian friends, inviting them to check it out. THE VERY NEXT DAY, we received some great financial news. To back up a bit, my wife and I are both in the Oklahoma Air National Guard. When my wife took the opportunity to become an officer, she was told she would forfeit her student loan repayment benefits. We weren’t real happy about it, but we knew she couldn’t pass up becoming an officer just because of that. So we again started paying back good ole Sallie Mae out of our own pocket. Fast forward to September 9, 2008 (the morning after publishing this website): My wife was out at our Guard base when the sergeant in charge of bonuses and benefits walked into her office. “I’ve got some good news and an apology for you,” he said. He went on to explain that a mistake had been made regarding repaying her student loans, and that she would again start receiving that benefit. This is a savings for us of about $12,000!

So my question for you is this: What has God been asking you to do that you’ve been putting off? What is He just waiting to bless you for that you’ve been delaying doing? You’ve felt that urging in your spirit. You’ve felt that gnawing in your gut. You’ve felt the heaviness on your conscience when this subject comes up. He’s given you the vision to do it. He’s given you the spiritual gifts to do it. He’s given you the natural talents to do it. So what are you waiting for?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.” – 2 Tim 1:7

Talk to you later,
Ben

Whatever It Takes!

My father-in-law sent this to me a while back. I haven't researched it to find out where it came from, but it's fantastic. It perfectly illustrates what should be the attitude and mindset of every Christian. Hope you enjoy it. Talk to you later.

I am committed to doing whatever it takes. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. I am out of my comfort zone. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or back away. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, tiny giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions or popularity.

I don't have to be right, first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power. My face is set, my faith is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my Guide is reliable, and my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted or delayed. I will not finish in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up or burn up until I've preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Jesus Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I am going to hang on, hunker down, hug tight and go where He wants to go and let Him take me there. And when He comes to get his own, He'll have no trouble recognizing me because I have committed my life to doing whatever it takes.

I Know How You Do It

I know how you do it. I know the moment your wife is out the door, you’re on the web looking for it. I know you delete your internet history as soon as you’re done. I know your wife installed a content filter on the computer. I know you installed keystroke software so you could get the password. I know how you accumulate magazines and videos. I know every few months you throw them all out and swear to never buy anymore. I know you buy more less than a week later. I know you drive south to Texas or north to Kansas, because you can’t get any “good” porn in Oklahoma. I know you blew your last paycheck at the strip club and that now the rent is late. I know you cruise online chat rooms looking for someone to cyber with. I know you’ve talked to underage girls. I know you pay for your escorts in cash. I know you stole from your job to get that cash. I know how alcohol fuels your lust. I know the guilt you carry. I know the shame you hide. I know that right now you feel like throwing up. I know all this because I was there. And if I wasn’t there myself, I knew someone who was.

But do you know what else I know? It doesn’t have to be this way.

There is One who can help you stop all of it. There is One who knows your temptations, knows your flaws, and knows you want out. There is One who can purify your heart, renew your mind, and change your habits. He is The Christ. He is Jesus. He loves you and wants to save you. But He doesn’t wave a magic wand. He doesn’t cast a spell. He won’t take your problems away by force. He won’t barge into your life. He requires your cooperation. He asks that you do your part. I’ve designed this ministry to help you do that. To start the process that will lead to a life of freedom and joy that only Christ can provide. It is my prayer that you are blessed by this ministry and I’ll talk to you again soon.

In Him,
Ben